height="110">Close to you - Carpenters

Friday, March 13, 2009

I am getting used to Paris.. yes, i think i will see how lovely every city can be when we start to stay a lil longer. This is partly cause i stopped feeling guilty for something that happened and realised it is the inherent nature of another person that make the person who she is today. coming to terms with that, i am much happier while i enjoy the little stunts she pull now and again.
I was stoning on the train as usual today, but it's not in singapore going from sengkang to harbourfront but from home to school in paris. I suddenly wonder the lifespan of an average person say maybe 80 years? that is if you are lucky.
80 years is not very long and not very short, is it? We have to go thru birth, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, love, marriage, work, children and death. God is thruout this for sure=)
While i was thinking of the short 80 years we have before we disappear from the earth, i was thinking "y should we restrict ourselves and not just do wad we want to?" and how unworthy it is to mind how others think of you. By the others, i mean people who are of no consequence to your life, yes credit that to the same person i mentioned.
Instead, i realised that life should be led filled with love from frens and family.. be generous and kind. I am getting used to doing things on my own and i kind of enjoy the quietness and peace i have which was missing for this one and a half months cause i was too unsettled here. A new place needs getting used to and then the comfort zone can be set, i guess.
Oh talking about stoning on the train, i saw an old man who was talking loudly on his phone. He wasnt irritating cause i was enjoying how he talks to his fren over the phone. Happy old man. And i wonder what he is like when he was a boy, a teenager, a man who needs to support his family, 40s, 50s? I wonder if he regretted anything he did.
As i cross the 21st to my 20s somethings, i realised responsibility is part of life and life isnt sweet and rosy but it can be enjoyable=) The downs in life makes the ups more enchanting. The monotonous life in sg makes europe more interesting and the unsettling paris makes home more lovely. They contradict each other but we live lives that are tensions of opposites. We revel in the opposites. As long there are restrains, we yearn for the freedom. When the restrains are gone and freedom is offered without a prize, it becomes worthless.
I have sidetracked.. talking about doing things, it's lovely to be spontaneous. 22 makes me think of love. I have rejected that from the time the first boy appeared and said something along the line of love. I love fairytales but nothing is perfect. I look at the other side and say the pastures are greener there and refused to settle down to any one pasture. Time to check that thinking. I like to love but i hate to love. does it make sense? it does.
Till then..

Posted by Jessica at Friday, March 13, 2009